Friday, January 7, 2011

Happy New Year? Not yet but I promise myself it will be!

Well here we are, one week into the New Year. I was so excited to move and get a fresh start on everything, but I've really only found myself in a total funk for the past couple months now. I feel like I've lost myself somehow, and I just can't seem to pick myself back up.  I stopped tracking my food and have made some really unhealthy choices through the holidays. It's a miracle I haven't gained any weight. Well, that's a lie. I gained 3 pounds, but at the same time I discovered that I am not 5'2 1/2 as I have been for most of my life.  I am now 5'4, however the hell that happened! But that means that to be at a healthy weight I cannot drop below 117.  And that's exactly what I am now :) 

So nutritionally, I vow to myself that as of today I will track every single thing that goes into my mouth, and I will make healthier choices about what those things are.

Fitness.  While I didn't stop running completely, I totally slacked off.  I have been slowly working on this one as of January 1st.  I haven't been running my usual 10ks, but I have been running 3 times this week so far.  I did 3.4 miles on the 1st, 5.59 miles on the 4th, and 4 miles yesterday (the 6th). To be honest, I liked running on the other golf course better than this one. I miss the trees and the privacy.  Other than running, I haven't done much at all, but even before I started slacking off I wasn't doing anything but running.  I did get Zumba for the Wii and I tried it once so far.  I discovered that I am way more uncoordinated than I originally thought :( 

So for fitness goals, I vow to make out an actual routine, and then stick with it!  I will run at least 365 miles in 2011. That's only a mile per day which I should have NO problem accomplishing.  Especially since I want to begin HM training for the Philadelphia Rock n Roll HM in late summer (August I think).  I also want to start training for a triathlon, but that means I have to find a gym with a pool, and then I have to get in a bathing suit in front of people (my biggest fear!) - EEK!

I am now officially employed with Weight Watchers.  While that's a GREAT thing, I don't have many hours, and it appears that it will be almost impossible to get on full-time which means I will need supplemental income.  I think this is the biggest part of my funk.  I really don't want to go back into social work, but I don't know what else to do.  I am waitressing part-time, but I really have nothing to say about that ;)  So yeah, I definitely feel like I'm kinda stuck in limbo as far as work/money goes.  I should be appreciative of the extra study time but that's another thing I've been lacking in.  I complained about never having enough time to study and now that I have the time I'm still not doing it like I should, and that makes me feel like a failure :( 

School/work goals.  Spend (at the very least) 2 hours per day studying.  Find a "real" job. Sigh.

I think this is a good start, and as I work out a plan and/or think of other things I will come back here and update.  I think I need to blog/journal to keep myself focused.  If anyone actually reads this, thank you :)


Jessica said...

You can do it!

nwkate said...

Here's a don't sound all that thrilled about studying and searching for a new job. Why not simply wait? You have WW and the waitress work. Not what you planned to be when you grew up, but then, who says you are grown up now? ;-) Let the right job fall into your lap. Instead of rushing around to make it happen, if you can financially afford to go with what you have, just be in a waiting and watching mode. I am a firm believer that sometimes we are so busy MAKING things happen that we fail to realize that what OUGHT to be happening to us is being pushed aside by our impatience.

I did not intend to have any of the last (let me count 'em) six jobs I held, including this one, but each one taught me something about myself and made me a better person. So what if others think I wasted all that grad school? I am a more complete me because of all of the weird things I did and do. And besides, I am NOT my occupation - it is merely what I do to pay the bills.

I bet the same is true of you!